Beyond the Golden Gate

Series of public shared spiritual experiences and tales
7th January – 8th of April 2011

The “Golden Gate”
The Taoist way of saying
That god is a window to existence.

• It is a series of multi dimensional circumstances taking place the Taoist or passive way.
• A bizarre interaction between the happenings before and beyond the Golden Gate.
• And the idle hope to end the painful sleep of a few people at the Abyss.

7th of January 2011: The beginning of “Beyond the Golden Gate”. Yes, I did it again but he doesn’t know a thing about the things I did in the past. It is useless to search for the Golden Gate: It appears before you when you are ready to enter it, not one second earlier. 10 years ago, golden cry for freedom. A very loud and intense need scream cried out my very last bit of energy at the deepest depth of the inner ocean, in total agony. It was an important turning point and the first stone or the first step of the golden Gate.

Music: "Gold" Spandau Ballet

The first love song
Total divinity is our place of being
The Eternal Homeland
The creatures of the night encourage me
To start for the way home
I Listen carefully to the angel’s song
They sing our love song
“Be who you are”
I Hear, I See and Ifeel!
I am the future bride
Preparing me for the sacred marriage
A fire red bridal veil adorns endless sky
Fly with the wings of this love
So black and red will be united
Our whisperings will be the only indicators
Throughout the many abysses
It are the noble ecstasies
Generated by my own being
In the wheel life
The vehicle to the stars
The path of life is hidden
I melt away
With the fragrance of sweet smelling inner roses
And feeding me with the joy of my heart
To fly on the wings of the eagle
The scarlet roses collecting universal love essence
This god’s nectar drips slowly in your heart
Oh, the power of love will lead me to the people
And will reveal the divine nature
The growing Love embraces the coldness of my prison
I fly with a golden sun disk between my wings
To the top of the world mountain
The black eagle is colouring red
Then he will change to white
Until he is finally of gold

8th of January 2011
The invisible lover
The red love roses are growing
I always find new food in His heart
One with the Sun
The Golden Dawn as it should be
Mother Earth weeps tears of glory
In a décor of misery
There is a most secret place
The amethyst palace on the mountain of the world!
It is the home of Horus
Whose Eye is Him and me
Glory shines in his eyes but also in mine
He has sent me the gold hawk
To clean up the stardust
So that the labour pains quickly pass
We met in the night to conquer the day
We are the moon creatures
That will be the heroes of the Golden Dawn
While we watch the red sunset
While listening to the eagle’s song
I feel the Twin
The ecstasy of the stars are shining in our hearts
I Surrender to these emotions
Coming forth from our inner fire
I Trust!
At midnight in the marriage of the opposites
I Embrace the beauty of our love
And let the holy wines flow

Music: Joe Cocker with “You can leave hat on” or as I hear it: You can leave your “Head” on.


9th of January 2011: The self unfolding mystery: silence rules in the night interrupted by sweet music. The first step towards eternal movement. A jewel in the night sky was my witness.
Music: Mari Boine with Eagle Brother

10th of January 2011: Bright sunshine on a carpet of white snow. The present is always blissful! The ecstatic vibes of the song of a whistling little bird on my balcony.

12th of January 2011: The victorious child says goodbye to victory, it was the right time to renounce it. The river of life flows on, nourishing beads, thousands of possibilities. Inner wealth grows in the Land of the Rising Sun as a bride of the Sun.Brilliance after brilliance as a wedding’s gift. The non-burning love anoints my being in the consciousness of every new moment.

Music: Mari Boine with “I come from the other side”

13th of January: Beautiful and powerful mediations, encounters with different parts and layers within myself. Floating on my own river of life. Good vibrations you have to create yourself. The art is to let them vibrate indefinitely as a warm breeze that gently caresses the faces, as silent whisperings in joy of life, as a spring feeling full of possibilities.


14th of January 2011: In the grey ashes appears a white light beam
giving birth to deep joy.Love grows and joy heals. The universe is embedded in my soul as a never-ending rain of flowers.
Golden Harlequin, gifts from Hotei, the Laughing Buddha!

15th of January
The longest day
A reversal
No more reflexive
Gates everywhere
Invisible wormholes
Never good
Distraction in distraction
Pegasus the winged horse
I'm the rudder and the driver
Always in the middle
On the self-paved roads
Blessed by own grown rose petals
baptized with my tears
Water Pearls from ecstasy
Precious stones
Exceptional gloss
The summer begins
The longest day
Everlasting
In Buddha's lantern
All is visible
In light and darkness
Eternal determining consciousness
The eye in Mimir's Well
Omniscient in being vibrations
The thin plain
all containing
All-pervasive
There is no dust on my shoes to shake off
A walker without footprints
Surrounded by delicious floral scents
Transformation after transformation
Enhancement after enhancement
The inner gold in subtle being vibrations

16th January 2011: Beyond the Golden Gate; these experiences can't be communicate. The Sun teaches me the absorption of the nourishing golden prana and how to spin gold of it as food for the subtle bodies. It creates an inner tornado whirling wild through my inner systems.

18th of January 2011: El Condor Pasa … a day without energy, enjoying my sofa so the inner cleaning tornado can do its work.
Music: Simon and Garfunkel "El Condor pasa"

19th of January 2011 Osho, an eternal & oceanic being. Never born never died.
One with the spirit of ecstasy: the karmic house is empty and clean and it wasn’t the clean up woman.

21st of January 2011: Nature speaks in thousands of tongues, but not in language.(Osho)

Music: "Hey Little Girl"Icehouse
Remembering my past life in Nazi Germany: I was a performing artist, dancer & singer in Berlin, a mixture of Isadora Duncan & Mata Hari. As the dancer in this video clip I also had to give up dancing.


23rd of January 2011: Orange day!
"The nature of things", nothing can be done, things are following their own nature.

Music: The theme song of Onedin Line
My boat is ready … for new adventures. In the night a beautiful memory of me and my maternal grandmother raised up: as a child we watched together to the "Onedin Line". She had the first colour TV in our street. She died in 1976; I was 15 years old then.

24th of January 2011: The Sun is new every day

25th of January 2011: Make me smile...
The mind is the wish-fulfilling tree--whatsoever one thinks, sooner or later it is fulfilled. Be careful with what you think.(Osho)

29th of January 2011: Obstruction dissolves before my eyes. The Greek Bible does it again: variety makes live richer.
Music: "Vincent" (starry starry Night) Don McLean

31st January 2011: Interesting unmaskings and the demolition of it’s of dirty politics. It is harvest or paying time! Life is big adventure & I love it.

2nd of February 2011: I know what you did last night. An airy bullock head, A spider demon and exorcism. Belgian & Greek hilarity in strong stories and it’s no joke.

I am a Fire & Water child: "Steamy windows"

A gift of the laughing Buddha: Life is a joke, no matter what happens. If you can laugh with your own misery it vanishes as snow for the sun.

3rd of February 2011: Connecting old friends, beautiful oriental clothing and exotic jewellery.

5th of February 2011: Time is not money; time is eternity in tune with the universe.(Osho)

6th of February 2011: Escaping from the inescapable

Music:
“Albatros” of Fleetwood Mac: O yeah, I also escaped here once
“Nights in White satin” of Mario Frangoulis
“Woman” of the Scorpions: O yeah, I remembered …


7th of February 2011 : Facing very old demons in myself, as old as existence itself. They evaporate when smiling at them! O yeah, cheers to laughter!
I’ve lost 2 Apes and a black panther that way. What a wonderful feeling!
History repeated itself: fantasized gossip about non existing love affairs. Steamy windows, a runny nose and ultra red light.

Fools always have a subtle wisdom in them, and the wise always act like fools. In the old days all great emperors always had one fool in their court. They had many wise men, counsellors, ministers and prime ministers, but always one fool. (Osho)

10th of February 2011: Every evening I celebrate the time between day and night.Participation & intelligence. Always watching!

Have you ever seen night going?
Very few people even become aware of things which are happening every day. Have you ever seen the evening coming?
The midnight and its song?
The sunrise and its beauty?

11th of February 2011: A splendid musical and poetic evening at C-mine with a Greek touch. The crazy wisdom of a loving heart in deep gratitude for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands.

12th of February 2011: Power blinds the eyes, love opens the eyes. Insecurity is the only way to grow, to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow.. That's the way to yourself our Paradise! That’s awareness! (Osho)

People say “love is blind” … the English call it “Falling” in love. As an eye opener it should be rising in love. That what people call love doesn’t open the eyes. Love is an inner consciousness experience that connects us with all. The majority of the people are walking on wrong roads, strayed from their inner being.

17th of February 2011: Nothing depends only on my action; there are thousands of crisscrossing energies. The total of the energies will decide the outcome. (Osho)

20th of February 2011: Each moment has to be taken as if this were the last moment. If you have found your truth within yourself there is nothing more in this whole existence to find. (Osho)

21st of February 2011: A golden gate experience: Living in abundance, living in totality, living intensely, at the maximum, overflowing.
Music: Kishore Kumar "O Mere dil Ke Chain"

22nd of February 2011: The real thing is your own consciousness. It carries no ready-made answers about what is wrong and what is right, no. But immediately, in what-ever situation arises, it gives you light, and you know immediately what to do. (Osho)

24th of February 2011: A Golden Date experience: oooooohhhh I was made for loving me.... inspired by "I was made for loving you" of Kiss!
Through our social conditioning: education at home, school, religion, and … we have learned to love others except ourselves. This means that we need the other to receive or to project love. As long as we seek the source of love outside ourselves we need the other, this reduces us to beggars. By learning to love yourself and to go inwards, this will open the inexhaustible source of love in your heart, which connects you with all and everyone, with the whole universe. You don’t need the other anymore to experience love.

25th of February 2011: Golden Gate experiencing is the feeling of wonder itself, the thrill of communion, the gentle touch of our connectedness with all that surrounds us.

26th of February 2011: Magic is the most misunderstood of all arts or sciences. That's the reason for so many victims. Most magicians don't know what they do. And for their victims: they are to unconscious to feel, see or whatever what is done to them and if you warn them they don't believe you. They get caught by it again and again ... very sad!


27th of February 2011: The documentary: “Dark fellowships: The Nazi cult” comes the closest to my dreams, nightmares & visions of a previous life in Nazi Germany. It feels like that I am still healing from the incurred damages from that life: the pain & the horror. I try to place it and to see the lessons I had to learn. Luckily I am almost at the end of this process. My lover or husband was a very dedicated magician and sat on board of several dark societies. He was one of the leading figures behind the scenes; he was not a German and is also not in this video. Despite the fact that I was also a victim of that regime, I was primarily a witness. In my very early childhood I had for me inexplicable visions, dreams and nightmares. When I took up the Armanen or German Runes I became an answer to most questions. I have spent much time studying occult Germany and it was really creepy to find all my lifelong visions back in it. I was an international performing artist, intuitive dance and song, and known as the “Red Angel” and living in Berlin. My style was a mixture of Isadora Duncun (I have known her personally) and oriental dance. I performed mostly in Germany but also Paris and New York. I have memories of several underground work and experimenting places: the flying saucers or one of them. I saw pharmaceutics, magical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, occult physical and sexual experiments, exploitation and abuse of worst kind. I was able to escape this horror but I had to fight extremely hard for myself and two children. I was also shot in my legs so I couldn’t dance no more. It is almost impossible to get rid of this kind of influences … I was almost finished with it and the death came. I had to come back to complete the process to get rid of the last bits and to leave the black hole network behind me … and yes I did it!

2nd of March 2011: Reflections on Golden Earring’s “When the Lady smiles” and “Twilight zone”. O yeah … When the bullet hits the bone in twilight zone!

The Old Man and the Greek Connection are hot again. This is much better then the constantly rehashing of ancient Greek mythology. All blessings in disguise, but they don’t know it yet. Oh yes, let’s dance! When the lady smiles, no one dares to look. He says that is old wine in new bottles, but he has still much sands in his eyes. The Old Man is not dead; he lives in the shadows on the wall. The Greeks invented the “Tragedy” and they are the best in it. But for the spectators it looks like a tragicomedy, with occurrences generating big belly laughter. No matter how these new old bottles of wine look like: the “old man” and the “Greek connection” are the absurd repetitions of repetitions of rhythms of the devil’s march in the abyss. When the bullet hits the bone in twilight zone!


3rd of March 2011: The difference between the little-ness of absurdities born out of narrow mind-ness & the great-ness of a real laugh.
Occupational therapy for hopeless cases ... here we go again have a dive in the governmental absurdities, it makes live is one big soap.

4th of March 2011: If you are nice, friendly & respectful towards people they feel offended, if you are indifferent they feel pleased and you are mega cool. I stay loving, nice, friendly & respectful ... the birds, the animals, the little children, the trees, the flowers will respond the same way.

5th of March 2011: I feel the powerful winds of Change: at the Omega or the big end throws me out. Alpha at the horizon shows the mystery of a new beginning.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Loneliness is absence of the other.

6th of March 2011: The Old Master is the inner guide to the Golden Gate and the golden land


8th of March 2011: Happiness happens when you fit with your life, when you fit so harmoniously that whatsoever you are doing is your joy.
I am enjoying the rebellious fire ... The Himalaya under the carpet has the same rules for everyone.

9th of March 2011: Leave the Blind Spots to themselves ... they are against growth. Born to be wild!

11th of March 2011: Red basics for an Aries: “I don't walk the line!”

The mystic, creates him/herself. She/He doesn't work with objects, she/he works with the subject; she/he works on himself, her/his own being. And she/he is the real creator, the real poet, because she/he makes her/himself into a masterpiece. (Osho)

13th of March 2011: Waking the dead, an eye in aneye and a golden winged globe. The corpses under the carpet start living. O yes, there are also vampires in it.

14th of March 2011: There are no manuals for hardcore rebels like me.

The revolutionary tries to change the old; the rebel simply comes out of the old, just as a snake slips out of the old skin and never looks back. (Osho)

15th of March 2011: In the inner sky, in the inner world, freedom is the highest value - everything else is secondary, even blissfulness, ecstasy. There are thousands of flowers, uncountable, but they all become possible in the climate of freedom. (Osho)

Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. The real seeker of truth never seeks truth. On the contrary, he tries to clean himself of all that is untrue, inauthentic, and insincere - and when his heart is ready, purified, the guest comes. You cannot find the guest, you cannot go after him. He comes to you; you just have to be prepared. You have to be in a right attitude. (Osho)

17th of March 2011: Sadness & happiness in the offspring are opening new doors & possibilities. It is all about being in the present. Enjoy life as it is, in balance with the eternal rhythm in us.


19th of March 2011: Sunshine in my hair and golden years. Dancing in the wild places of my heart.

23th of March 2011: No history, no future, rejoicing in the present

24th of March 2011: An intelligent person will begin his search from his inner being.

26th of March 2011: I see no consciousness in the Leela Players, shifting from one side to the other. There is no sparkling in their dance. I am not the direction, not the driver & pusher of their imaginary wheelchair. The retardant force of the turtle no longer weighs on me.
Yes! A yellow Rose, a white pink Orchid and a huge white golden light lotus. Something great is happening I am in awe for the fresh spring green of the weeping willows: they are always the first and the last ones.


29th of March 2011: The body should be a temple of joy, of song, of dance, of music, of creativity, of love and life.

Once your awareness becomes a flame, it burns up the whole slavery that the mind has created. There is no blissfulness more precious than freedom, than being a master of your own destiny. (Osho)

Music of the day: Zucchero with “Il volo”, Jan Hammer with “Crockett’s Theme” and “Radar Love” of Golden Earring

31st of March 2011: In the hands of the wise, poison becomes medicine; in the hands of the fools, even medicine, even nectar, is bound to become poison.

1st of April 2011: The golden gate experience on fool's day: be a fool; drop the Ego!

3rd of April 2011: The Golden Date experience in drinking wine, dancing on the beach and singing in the rain, and at the same time enjoying the depths of understanding and wisdom.

6th of April 2011: Living on sunshine and inner Glamour, with an open mind, as a free soul and a sunshine heart.
Music: “Wild boys” of Duran Duran
Where are the wild Boys … Wo sind sie geblieben?

7th of April 2011: The only distinction between the dream and the real: reality allows you to doubt, and the dream does not allow you to doubt.... the capacity to doubt is one of the greatest blessings to humanity. (Osho)

8th of April 2011: When you stop improving upon yourself, life improves you. In that relaxation, in that acceptance, life starts caressing you, life starts flowing through you. (Osho)

The end of the series “Beyond the Golden Gate”, which made an opening for "The adventures of a wild and crazy woman": A log of a rebel on the road again.